Shifty Schwartz
by Oblivion in the Wake
Summary: At the end of the show, Schwartz comes back……….as a chibi! Everyone goes to the Neo Japan colony to celebrate, including chibi Schwartz……..and that is where the fun begins. We love making fun of the characters, playing off their flaws.
1. Clowns and Mommy!

A/N:: This is a G-Gundam humor fic about Schwartz by Oblivion in the Wake and Kitten Kisses. At the end of the show, Schwartz comes back....as a chibi! Everyone goes to the Neo Japan colony to celebrate, including chibi Schwartz....and that is where the fun begins. We love making fun of George(it's so easy). So any George fans (are there any?) don't go screaming into the night. Sometimes Schwartz has the mask on, sometimes he doesn't.  
  
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Chapter 1- Clowns and mommy!  
  
Chibodee was sitting in a lawn chair. He reached over to take his glass of lemonade from the small table beside him.  
  
SLURRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP- AHHhhhhhhhh  
  
Chibodee grinned. He liked lemonade. He looked up at his bikini-clad "girls".  
  
"Hey, um....er...uh...." he snapped his fingers. "Um, uh, er, uhm....," he mumbled, pointing at the redhead.  
  
"Shirley," she finished boredly, her eyes rolled up in her head. "What do you want Chibodee?"  
  
Slobber ran out of the corner of Chibodee's mouth.  
  
"Sex?" he wondered.  
  
Shirley tapped Bunny on the shoulder, Bunny nodded, and handed Shirley a picture of something on a stick.  
  
".....As soon as possible," Chibodee said as the slobber dripped off his chin and splashed into a puddle on the ground.  
  
Shirley held up the clown-on-a-stick.  
  
"MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed Chibodee as he dove behind the lawn chair.  
  
"Hi Cath!" said little Schwartz as he hugged her legs. (he's about knee- high)  
  
"Well hi there Schwartzy!" Cath smiled, patting the kid's head uneasily. She still wasn't used to him being so short.  
  
Little Schwartz skipped over to Janet and put his hands behind his back, smiling up at her.  
  
"Ohhhhh you're so cute!" Janet gushed.  
  
"You're such a sweetie!" Bunny squealed and dashed over to him.  
  
Bunny and Janet bent over and pinched either one of Schwartz's cheeks. (the one's on his face you perverts!)  
  
Chibodee peeked up from behind his lawn chair to behold the awe-inspiring sight. Janet held up the clown-on-a-stick again threateningly.  
  
Schwartz skipped over to Shirley who was still holding the clown. He smiled at her and bobbed his head back and forth. Shirley squealed.  
  
"Let me put this down, okay?" She bent over to put the clown-on-a-stick on a chair.  
  
Little Schwartz's eyes narrowed and he got an evil grin on his face. He put his hand underneath the bikini near her ass, pulled it back, and let it fly back into place with a...  
  
SNAP!  
  
Shirley whirled around. She first looked at Chibodee who was whimpering behind his lawn chair a good twenty feet away, and then at little Schwartz, who was standing a foot behind her- head bobbing back and forth with a cute little grin on his face.  
  
"Chibodee!" she screamed as she grabbed the clown picture and ran over to him. She smashed his face into the clown picture.  
  
"But I didn't-" Chibodee yelped before Shirley smashed the clown picture into his face.  
  
The remaining three girls covered cute little Schwartz's eyes and walked him away from the terrible sight of the Neo American fighter being whupped by a clown-on-a-stick.  
  
Shirley smashed the clown into Chibodee's face one last time and kicked him into the pool.  
  
SPLLOOOOOOSHHHHHHHH!  
  
"Hmph!" Shirley huffed, storming out of the room. "You pervert! You should be more like little Schwartz!"  
  
Chibodee stared around the pool and watched the waves around him die down. "Oh well," he shrugged.  
  
He looked around and took a sip of his drink.  
  
"At least I have my lemonade!" he said as he went under.  
  
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lol, there's more to come!  
  
Shifty Schwartz explaination::  
  
Schwartz has like an MPD (multiple personality disorder, lol). When he's angel Schwartz, he'll have a cute grin on, be bobbing his head around, etc. When he's demon Schwartz, he gets an evil grin and does mean, nasty, and sometimes *very* perverted things.  
  
Anywayz, poor Chibodee didn't do nething wrong and he gets blasted by Shirley! ^_^ Please review, and  
  
IF YOU DON'T LIKE HUMOR GO AWAY! THIS FIC WILL HAVE NOOO REAL ROMANCE IN IT AT ALL.  
  
::Oblivion in the Wake:: & ::Kitten Kisses::  
  
Review please, you know you want to! 


	2. Ch2 no title yet

Hi, we're back again with another chapter! Please read and review! We'd appreciate it.  
  
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Chapter 2- Pictures and Gundam lugging  
  
Allenby walked down the hall. She bit off a large chunk of her doughnut and swallowed before taking a large gulp of hot chocolate. Pulling out a datapad from her pocket, she smiled happily.  
  
"MMMMMMmhhhhhhhhh, this is the life....." she muttered as she stared down at the picture of Domon's ass she'd taken after a Gundam fight. He didn't even know that she'd snapped it.  
  
"HHHHUUUURRRRRAAAAHH! RUUUUUHHHHHHHHH!"  
  
Allenby looked to her left and she saw Hans of Neo-Denmark lugging a large chunk of his Gundam down the stairs.  
  
"HURRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGG!" Hans grunted.  
  
The piece of Gundam moved .0000000000000000001 inches.  
  
"Can I help you?" Allenby asked him, chomping on her doughnut.  
  
"No, I'm fine," Hans said as he pulled at the piece of his Gundam. "No problem here."  
  
"Okayyyy....." Allenby said, shaking her head as she continued on her way down the hall.  
  
She stared down again at the picture of Domon's ass. Damn, it was tight!  
  
"Hello Allenby!"  
  
Allenby jumped back and slammed her datapad shut. A mini version of Schwartz Bruder was hanging upside down from a pipe suspended from the ceiling.  
  
"Oh!" Allenby squealed jumping up and down. "You're so cute!"  
  
She put her datapad with the picture of Domon back into her pocket. "How did you get so cute?"  
  
Mini-Schwartz swung his head back and forth and blushed. "I dunno."  
  
"Oh I just can't take it anymore!" She put her hot chocolate and doughnut on the floor. She reached up and betted at the fluffball on the end of his mask. "You're so adorable!!!"  
  
Mini-Schwartz smiled.  
  
"You are too cute for words, I've got to have a picture!"  
  
She reached for her datapad and deleted the picture of Domon's ass. She reached up to take the picture, focusing on chibi Schwartz's adorable smile.  
  
SNAP!  
  
"HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHH!"  
  
Allenby looked back. Hans was pulling with all his might, but the piece of his Gundam didn't move at all.  
  
Schwartz put his evil face on.  
  
Allenby felt a hand go down her shirt and under her bra, feeling around where it had no right being.  
  
Her eyes turned red and she looked over at Hans who was valiantly trying to pull the piece of his Gundam down the 300,000 flight steps, and then back at little Schwartz who was just pulling his hand out of her shirt.  
  
"Hans!!!!!!!!!!!" she screamed, stomping over to him.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"I'm going to help you down those stairs."  
  
"Really, how?"  
  
"Let me show you...heh heh heh."  
  
She kicked his large chunk of Gundam and it teetered on the edge of the steps before falling towards Hans.  
  
BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAM, ETC.  
  
The Gundam hunk smashed into Hans and went down step after step after step after step, etc.  
  
"Stupid man," she grumbled, pulling out her picture of little Schwartz. She grabbed little Schwartz off of the piece of pipe and patted him on the head. "Everyone should be more like Schwartz."  
  
"Only 430,000,000,099 more Gundam pieces to go," said Hans happily from the bottom of the steps. His bruised body lay mangled in a heap, blood oozing everywhere. "Why didn't I think of this sooner?"  
  
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Okay, the end of that chapter. :( Because of a certain review that we received (U know who you are), we are apologizing about using MPD/DID as a *like* figure. Schwartz has his own personality-type thing. One minute, he's an angel, the next DEMON Schwartz pops into the picture, and he does naughty things. *shakes finger* Bad Schwartz! ^_^ lol, sorry if we offended anyone else by mentioning it in the first chapter. All we meant was, that one minute he was nice, the next minute he switched personalities to the angel Schwartz. ^^ Sorry.  
  
::Oblivion in the Wake:: ::Kitten Kisses::  
  
~~PLZ REVIEW!!! =^.^= 


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